The Mutant Chronicles

Saw The Mutant Chronicles, a film which has nothing to do with X-men. Rather, it is based on a role-playing game set in the steam-punk future where four corporation-nations are locked in a bitter WW1 reenactment. During this war, they accidentally release hoards of zombaloid mutants who ravage the countryside. The populace flees the planet while a band of ten (or so) hard-bitten mercenaries try to shut down the diabolical mutant/zombie-creating engine for good.

The film is unimaginably goofy. Over-stuffed with mood-setting and universe-building, it tries to give us a rundown on an entire game-book's worth of imaginary social structure. They can't actually do that, of course, so they resort to short-hands. There's a character who is a sword-wielding nun. She has tons of screen time but never becomes much more than that. Similarly there is a stoic Asian dude, a coarse Spaniard, an aristocratic German, etc. Almost every character can be fully described by a single adjective. Kurosawa this aint.

I frequently felt kind of unpleasantly bated. I only know that this film was based on a role-playing game because I cynically looked up if there was a video game (first-person shooter, of course) based on this film. There is not, actually, but that's the level of pandering I felt from this film. It's mainly here to make me feel good and its plot is therefore designed to maximize spectacle and sensation. The only time our morals are excited, the situation is blatantly black and white. The film completely lacks both subtlety and nuance.

All of that said, look at my first paragraph. This is clearly not a movie whose charm lies in its nuance. Essentially, if that first paragraph appeals to you, then I wish you joy and urge you to go see this film. It's dumb but doesn't take itself seriously. It's obviously just a roller-coaster and, though I feel I've been on better ones, it's pretty ridiculous and great. It's sometimes a bit self-serious, but its bouts of dourness never last longer than about a minute and then we're back to watching bad-asses pilot steam-powered zeppelins or cutting off a zombie's arm with a katana (!!!!) Very dumb but stylish fun.