The Sum of Us

Saw The Sum of Us, a slice-of-life drama about Harry, a retired dude looking for love, and his gay son Jeffrey who lives with him. The film came out in the early 90s, so Harry's tolerance of his son's sex life is treated as an immensely exotic thing. Jeffrey's life takes up a good deal of the film (he even narrates the opening back-story) but Harry is the protagonist essentially, explaining his son's actions to us in direct-to-the-camera monologues and eventually reaching a grand crescendo of emotion as he thinks about his own love life, his son's love life, and as he recalls the way he treated his own mother's late-life homosexuality.

The film is intensely emotional and touching. Its rough and kidding exterior gives way to live-theater-style familiarity (direct-to-the-camera monologues) and the sort of lame comic relief that only adds to the pathos. The film holds up very well despite showing its age here and there. There is (thank god) no gay-bashing scene and there is only minimal talk of AIDS. The fundamental message of tolerance is an enduring one, even though the intolerance on display already seems a bit overly cave-man-ish.

This is a film for straight people though. I found it sort of fun and comforting but it's almost always pleading for tolerance and acceptance which is of course preaching to the choir for me. Jeffrey's character is a respectable homosexual which straight audiences can accept, to wit, a completely straight-acting and straight-looking plumber played by Russell Crowe. Harry's tolerance is exaggerated to the point of over-compensation. At one point Jeffrey brings a guy home and Harry wants to make him feel welcome and approved-of. Very sweet but by the time Harry's giving the poor dude porno mags "just to get him started" I started to wonder just how far Harry's affection went. Overbearing, I suppose was the enviable alternative to hostility.

A sweet film, full of love and acceptance. It wants to change minds but of course no one's going to buy a ticket for a film they think they'll disagree with. A bit cheesy in parts but never too egregious, it's a friendly little movie about friendly little gays who just want some understanding please.