John Carter

Saw John Carter.  It wasn't bad in the end, but it gets off to a very very rocky start.  We kick off on Mars, where we set up the Martian conflict.  Then we shoot back to earth, New York, in the year 1881, following the titular John Carter.  He then dies and we read his journal, taking us back 13 years earlier, to Arizona (I think) 1868.  THEN we get to Mars where we see John Carter interacting with some aliens and discovering he can jump very high on Mars because of  … bone density?

The start is definitely a mess.  you kind of have to accept all of this as fantasy-land nonsense.  It is sort of sad that the source material apparently did not know that gravity is greater on Mars and that lower gravity does not mean greater strength (you can't break moon-chains just because you can jump high on the moon) but then again, there are also not four-armed green aliens either, so I guess we just kind of need to accept that this is Mars sort of  in name only.

Anyway, once the basic stupidity of the film is established and it gets more into its groove, it improves somewhat and becomes a kind of sand-and-sandals-type film of swashbuckling daring-do and court intrigue.  This latter bit is not so bad, and the main character's arc seems to be transitioning from nihilistic self-interest to being willing to fight and stand up for a worthy cause.  It is unfortunate that his nihilism is established while refusing to help Custer's regiment to keep Arizona safe.  In the original book, I feel this was the obviously just cause that, later on in the book, he would have manfully accepted.  Oh well - that bit is left in the intro and never brought up again, thank goodness.

This was basically a silyl movie.  Once you accept its fundamental silliness, it's much easier to handle, but the very bumpy beginning puts up serious hurdles to anyone's enjoyment.  I've read some defenses online and I get the sense that this film has some relatively half-hearted defenders out there, but for me, this is not worth defending.  It's not terrible in the end, but its too pointlessly convoluted and interested in imaginary politicking to be of much interest to me.