1990: The Bronx Warriors

Saw 1990: The Bronx Warriors, a film that's about as good as its title. An Italian film, I was only able to get hold of the English dub. This added to the film's appeal. Anyway, it's set in the far, distant future, in the year 1990, where your library card can operate a telephone inside of your very car! The film postdates and shamelessly rips off the film The Warriors. The plot is this: the Bronx borough of NYC has essentially been given up as a loss and given to the gangs to run. The attractive daughter of the mayor/CEO of New York City (it's really unclear if he's the president of New York industries or something. Anyway, he's basically god.) runs away to the Bronx and joins up with Trash, the equally attractive leader of the gang The Riders (here's a picture of Trash. He's on the right.)

Most of the entertainment from the film comes from how ridiculous everything is. At one point, the Riders are traveling through enemy territory. Suddenly, a rival gang tap-dances out from behind pillars in terrifying lamé outfits and face-paint. Later, there's a gym of leotard-ed men on trampolines. They are another gang. Also, there's much childish snickering to do about the sexuality of the protagonist, Trash. He's very pretty and although he's nominally dating this rich girl, he has a much more intimate relationship with his gang-members. Also, note the oddly-worded bit of trivia, second-to-the-bottom. Very low-hanging but delicious fruit.

Anyway, the plot follows some stupid double-cross and features some impalings. It's all very dumb. At one point a major character is dying in the middle of a flame-thrower fight. In the middle of the death-scene, the film kind of realizes we haven't had a flamethrower-to-the-face shot in a while, gives us one of those, and then the character literally rolls their eyes and dies. We are given one last flamethrower-to-the-face bit before the bare-chested Trash (his shirt was burned off by this point, obviously) swears vengeance.

It's total bullshit. It's not as glorious bullshit as say Flash Gordon or Con Air, but the bullshit is fairly pure and at least not tedious. This crap should only be enjoyed with friends and with beer.