Die Hard 5

Saw Die Hard 5. I think by this point John McClain has realized he's an action star and therefore does whatever the hell he wants, serene in the knowledge that he's unkillable. The beginning of the movie is a long car-chase/Mercedes commercial, the middle of the movie is like a really long promo video for some Black-Ops-like video game and then we have a short and utterly tacked-on and stupid ending about learning to love his son or something. Who cares really? The whole point of this movie is to see things blow things up against a cyan background. And orange explosions set against dark-blue backdrops are dutifully delivered in spades. We the audience are congratulated on being American by sneering Russians who seem to talk about America and Americans a lot to each other in English. Our mindless passivity is congratulated by a hero so anti-intellectual that he sneers at the audacity of constructing a 'plan.' Our sense of justice is perverted into a grim desire for revenge. Et cetera. Ugh.

I'm really glad my adventure in Die Hard-land is over. This series is just really not meant for someone like me.